Why My Divorce Felt Like Childbirth. And what I did to heal...

One of the first things I said after I gave birth, because it was so painful, was, “I am never doing that again! I don’t understand why any woman would want to do that more than once!”

But then as time goes on and your body heals and you love your child so much, you some how forget all about the pain and go on to have another baby. (That.... and there really is something magical about our hormones at that time to help us forget the pain!) 😉

I also remember when I was pregnant with my second child wondering how on earth I would ever be able to love another being as much as I did my first baby.

Then the second baby arrives and the love explodes! ❤️❤️

I think getting a divorce is kinda like giving birth.

I remember being in so much pain.

The big difference between giving birth and going through a divorce is-

giving birth was over after a few hours and you walk away with a beautiful baby.....

whereas, when you get a divorce the pain lasts for months (years for some) and you’re left alone.

I remember this pain being so excruciating and I had the same thought “WHY would I ever want to do that again?”

It’s been about 2 years now since we split and there’s been a lot of ups-and-downs but I’m in such a great place in my life that I am actually thinking about love again.

I think when you take the time to fully heal from your divorce, the initial pain goes away.

The important thing is to take that time.

I am so grateful that, when my life felt like it was turned upside down, I decided to go inward instead of turning to alcohol, drugs or old patterns.

I remember waking up and realizing that I was alone.....And I was scared.

And if I’m really being honest, I was scared of being alone.

So I decided I was going to wake up at 5am everyday to meditate.

If I had a fear of being alone then I was going to face it head on. And what better way to do that, than with meditation. 🤷‍♀️🧘🏻‍♀️

I also started reading.

I read so many amazing books which helped me to stay positive and powerful.

I also made sure I kept working out.

Even on the days I felt like shit I made sure I didn’t miss a workout.

That has always been my rock.

I felt like I was training all my life just so I had the strength to get through that moment in my life.

I also had a life coach and best friends that I could call at anytime and they were always there for me.

It is so important to feel supported by people that love and care for you.

Another thing I decided to do, was to do the things I always wanted to do, but couldn’t, because I never had the time or energy for them. Things like travel and starting new hobbies. Let’s just say I made 5 awesome trips in one year that I would never have done before. Plus, I took up playing the drums. 🥁 yup. Me! Yes I did. I took the opportunity to learn something new and I LOVED it!

I believe that when you take the time to fully heal from your divorce then there will come a time when you forget about the pain you felt initially, and you will go into your next relationship with a clean slate.

I’m not sure if I’m ready, but I am saying I’m open to it and I never would have thought I would ever say those words again.

So if you are going though a painful break up or divorce take the time to take care of yourself and heal. Make some room for meditating and working out. I promise it helps.

It’s totally normal to swear off love or wonder if you will ever love again…. but one day you will move forward with an open heart.

But it takes work.

It takes being responsible for our results.

It takes sitting with emotions - all of them- and allowing yourself to feel.

It takes having an outlet to release.

It takes extreme self care, which can be tough…

But know that you’re worth it.

Keep doing the work.

And even though it may take time- you will get your gift- you will learn to love again. Even if it’s just yourself.

❤️